Thursday, December 04, 2008

Dorks Unite

I think this is my elementary school experience being played out in real life.

Stephen: Gr, (punch-punch), you guys are such dorks. Haha, you're bleeding!

Stephane: Ow, ow, ow. Why won't my friends back me up?

Stephen: Aw, whatchagonnado, call the teacher?
Stephen wanders away

Gilles: Don't tell the teacher, that never works.

Stephane: Yeah, I know.

Jack: We should do something about that guy.

The following day.

Stephen: Alright you weanies, hand over your lunch money!

Stephane, Gilles, Jack: No, way!
The three of them start pummeling Stephen who goes running away to the principal's office.

Stephen arrives at the principal's office, covering his black eye and pointing at the playground

Stephen: They were mean to me! Even after I told them I would let them keep their lunch money.

GG: Hm, well you have been quite a bully. Maybe this will teach you some humility. I think we'll have a time out and we can fix this after Christmas. Until then, you're not allowed back in the school.

All I'm saying is that I've had enough of bullies being in charge of our country. Harper, Chretien and Mulroney in Canada, Harris in Ontario. I'm tired of them all. You want to call Dion a dork because he can't put an orange ball in a net. Fine. It's about time one of us was in charge of this country.

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This Is Not Democracy

How could the Governor General possibly do this?

Let's suppose I'm the mayor of Ottawa. I spent my entire term kicking babies, shutting down libraries and getting drunk. Everyone hates me.

It's the day after the election. The polls demonstrate that I'm going to lose by a landslide. The Election Returns Officer has the poll counts, ready to be announced. I go over to him and I say, "Listen, I want you to not announce the vote totals for the next two months. I'll just go on quietly being mayor and making decisions without the will of the people behind me."

And the Returns Officer says .... "Yes"?


I'm not living in a democracy right now. I never have, of course. The country has always been ruled by a slight minority which possessed a majority of seats in the House of Commons. But this is even worse. Even by the rules of our representative Parliament, this is a violation of democracy.

This is just as bad as the Returns Officer in the analogy above. The Governor General has a letter sitting in front of her that says Stephen Harper does not have the confidence of the house. All she has to do is sit back and make him face the counting. Instead she's used her royal power to set this count aside.

We're being ruled by a leader who has no respect for opposing viewpoints and no accountability.

I don't what we're living in now, but it's nothing at all like a democracy.

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Wednesday, December 03, 2008

Democracy Isn't Your Whore, Mr. Harper.

With apologies to Arundhati Roy, who figured this out a long time ago.

Democracy isn't your Whore, Mr. Harper. You can't just pick something you want, write democracy on it and pretend it's the real thing.

George Bush was fond of doing this during the lead up to the Iraq War. They were invading Iraq for democracy, didn't you know? And democratic countries were those that supported the war, like Turkey where 95% of the people opposed it, or Spain where a significant majority also opposed it. That's democracy, you see, when you say you're supporting democracy against the wishes of the people.

But it's not going to work in Canada Mr. Harper. You can't dress up democracy in this country, take it out for stroll one night to gain credibility and then bend it over your couch back at Sussex drive.

People in this country can actually read and they can find the definition of democracy in the dictionary quite easily: (noun) a system of government in which the majority rule.

You have a minority, Mr. Harper. The majority of the population wants policies other than yours. The majority of parliamentarians want policies other than yours.

That cheap whore you keep calling democracy isn't the real thing. 46% of the seats in Parliament doesn't make a majority and it doesn't give you the right to rule. You can dress that up however you want, it's still a lie. You can pimp that lie all over town, call her a lady and call everyone who disagrees a treasonous, separatist hoodlum bent on overthrowing her.

But we know better. We can count. We can add. We know what democracy really means.

And that prostitute you cart around ain't it.

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Christmas Carols

If the coalition is my early Christmas present, then the exploding Conservative heads with their thrashing and whining constitute the Carolers.

The Facebook group "Canadians Against the Left Coalition" wants to tell us this is an "overthrow" of the government.

I can definitely hear "Oh, come, oh come! Unholy Alliance!" being sung to the tune of "Oh, come, oh, come Emmanuel".

And of course there's the stunningly ignorant complaint that "no one voted for this coalition". Maybe you haven't noticed that there was no "coalition/not coalition" option on your ballot. That's because the potential for coalition has been and always will be a part of our representative parliament.

And there's incredibly hypocritical complaint from pretty much any of these guys that the Liberals are in bed with separatists(Separatists! Separatists! Separatists!). I don't know guys, do you remember when Stephen Harper wanted to get in bed with the separatists to "overthrow" the Martin government in 2004. Fortunately, the Internet remembers. I'm sure you've all got a ready rationalization for why it was okay for Harper but not for Dion.

It's all music to my ears. Even if it doesn't work out, it was worth it just to drive up their collective blood pressure.

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Tuesday, December 02, 2008

Power Must Be Earned, Not Taken

I wonder if I have to put (TM) at the end of that. It`s the crux of the new Conservative ad campaign to ... well, it`s not quite clear what they hope to do. I suppose the goal is to make people scream, hate and throw rocks until they force the country to violate its Parliamentary rules and call an election for no good reason.

But they tell "Power must be earned, not taken".

I never really thought of a democracy that way. Power isn`t suppose to be taken or earned. Power comes from a mandate from a majority of the people`s representatives. Ideally, it ought to come from a majority of the people, but we have a representative democracy, so that`s how we roll.

But if you`re a Conservative, maybe you think in terms of taking power. That`s certainly how Harper has played it. He had a minor lead over the Liberals before dissolution of Parliament and, seeing weakness, he made every bill he put forth a confidence motion, daring the Liberals to call him on it. He governed in minority like a majority.

It was all about power.

Then he went too far. Then he tried to use his power to defund his opponents. It was a kick below the belt and it galvanized the opposition. Did he assume that Dion, as a lame duck, would not stand up for his party? Did he assume that we would quietly let our democracy die? Did he think we would want a government of the rich?


He thinks in terms of power and went over the edge - and that was with a minority. Imagine what would have happened if he`d eeked out his majority.

It shouldn`t be about power. It should be about service. But Stephen Harper wouldn`t understand that.

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Dear Santa: I Want Democracy

And Christmas has come early.

It's beginning to feel a lot like Democracy. The Liberals, NDP and Bloc have formed a coalition to prevent the destruction of democracy in Canada.

You think I'm being melodramatic? Sorry, no. The Conservative desire to use their 37% of the popular vote to steamroll the other parties in to nonexistence has finally forced the rest of the political sphere to ally against them.

The first thing the Conservatives planned to do was to retroactively cancel public funding of political parties. Although this would cost themselves more money than the other parties (since public funding is vote based) the Conservatives have far richer donors than any of the other parties. Canceling public funding would hardly be noticed by the Conservatives, even while it destroyed everyone else.

So the Liberals, NDP and Bloc have assembled a coalition and have told the Governor General that this coalition would have the confidence of Parliament. This, after all, is what a Prime Minister needs.

The Conservatives are in full mobilization, sending their minions forth upon talk radio with Talking Points and planning Demonstrations. Galloping Beaver has a wonderful destruction of their talking points.

The most important point, however, is their idea that it is somehow anti-democratic for the majority of MPs, with a majority of the popular vote, to form a government and remove a minority government with a minority of the popular vote.

Democracy: (noun); rule of the majority.

Pretty simple really.

From an atheist to all of you out there in blogland: Merry Christmas. I feel positively chipper about the whole thing.

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