They've been secretly crafting a North American security agreement. Why is it done in secret? Why, because Canadians are too stupid, naive and anti-American for this sort of agreement to take place in the light of day.
[a leaked document] provides a rare insight into how the government regards Canadians: as a nation ignorant of the true scale of the security threat it faces and more concerned with privacy rights.
See that? You're too dumb to comprehend the horrid terrorist threats coming our way! You stupid left-wing whackos keep quoting these statistics that say 100 times as many people have died in car accidents as terrorists incidents. Stop doing that and learn to be afraid, dammit!
Is there some reason that Canadians should be worried about their privacy?
“Greater information sharing is part of the initiative. The safeguarding of privacy and sovereignty will be of concern for Canadians,” the document says.
See what your government thinks of you? You're worried about your privacy. Don't you realize that in order for shipping containers to be properly inspected at Canadian ports, the American government needs to have your biometric data, medical history and a bunch of other things they'll use against you. I mean, seriously, people: the guys who are going to interrogate you in Syria need that information to torture you effectively!
“The Canadian public may underestimate the security threat to Canada,” the communication plan says.
No, we don't underestimate it. The problem is that the government overestimates that threat. Here, you do the arithmetic if you want. It looks to me like about 350,000 people have died in traffic accidents since 9-11. That's a hundred times the number who have died from terrorism.
I think Canadians have a pretty shrewd idea how dangerous terrorism is. I think our government is exaggerating so it can get deeper in bed with the Americans.
So let's just get to the meat of this issue:
“Notwithstanding our significant investment to date, a perception exists in the U.S. that Canada has not focused enough on security,” the Public Safety document says.
That's right, puppy. You're a good dog, but not good enough. Now roll over and play dead for Uncle Sam. Uncle Sam wants to handle your immigration for you, so he can extradite refugees he doesn't like to someplace where torture is legal. He wants to see your records, examine your people, know what they're up to ...
And once he has all your records. Once he know exactly what you're doing every moment of every day, then maybe - just maybe - he'll let some of your trucks cross the border without a tonne of harassment.
Or not. Whatever. Terrorism, you know.